Why Uganda?

The short answer is that, over time, I really felt that God was leading my heart there.  Every time I thought about Ugandan adoption, I got more excited about it, and as I thought about other options, gradually they seemed dimmer.

When Mark and I were first discussing adoption, we talked about all the options - domestic infant, foster-to-adopt, international, etc.  We thought about our priorities -- did we want an infant? did we want a relationship (or want to avoid a relationship) with birth parents? what would a transracial family be like for us? were we equipped to handle a troubled child?

When we started talking about international adoption, everything just seemed to click together: this is where we were meant to be.  We had stated years ago that a connection with the broader world was one of our top family values.  I had the opportunity to spend a great deal of time in Asia as a young girl, and had always longed for a similar experience for my children.  We realized that parenting an infant was not important to us; we both loved (and actually preferred) parenting toddlers and older children.  I am already a full-time mother, which means that I would have the time and energy to focus on this child and his or her needs.  We already use the Attachment Parenting model with our son, which is usually what is recommending to help an older child work through their natural adoption trauma.

So once we were looking at international adoptions, there were both so many options and so few!  Everyone thinks "what country did you choose/like the best?", but really, we decided it was more important to choose an agency with strong ethical standards, and select one of the countries they served.  We visited several agencies before deciding that Journeys of the Heart fit our family's needs and concerns, but by that point we were already leaning strongly towards an African program, especially Uganda.

Here were some of the things that kept drawing us in:
-My sister had recently spent a couple of years in Cameroon as a Peace Corps Volunteer.  Our hearts and minds were full of the stories and pictures she had brought back.
-There is almost no governmental safety net in Uganda or other African countries.  There are no orphanages, no food, no education for the many children who are the orphans or AIDS and war, let alone families in-country who can adopt them.  The alternative to international adoption is often for the child to die on the streets.
-The children usually spend months or years with their birth family before being placed for adoption; they have not been institutionalized their whole lives.
-Since Uganda has only very recently opened for international adoption, the programs are not yet backlogged or filled with as much fraud as they would/might be after a while (such as in Ethiopia).  Although the timeline could be shorter than many countries, the flip side of that is that there is a lot of uncertainty working with a new system like this.

The final straw was when we found that JOH runs their own orphanage in Uganda, so there is a direct connection with the children and the families who relinquish them.   We deeply hoped that this would lead to much greater transparency in the process, reducing the likelihood of fraud... both in the relinquishment process as well as the resources really going to take the best possible care of the children.

Even though this process has had many ups and downs and emotional stress and turmoil (already!) I feel deep in my heart that this is where we are supposed to be.  I feel like God has guided us to this place, and that He will continue to help us in the months and years ahead.

Our daughter (hopefully)

Here is a little bit of information about the little girl who will hopefully become our daughter! (God willing)  The Ugandan government is very strict about what is put on the internet about their children, so I am being purposefully vague here, and I cannot post any pictures.  Once the guardianship is approved, I will be happy to tell you so much more about her!

Her name is Rehema, and she is almost 2 years old; she will turn two on the date two days before Emerson turns four!  Her name is pronounced Re-HAY-ma.  Her village is not far outside of Kampala, which is the capital city, in which she now lives.

Her birth mother, besides being impoverished, was also disabled, which is why she was unable to care for her daughter.  Rehema entered the orphanage when she was 15 months old.  Her father is known and lives in the same village, but has not provided any support for the child.  This is very important to us, that both parents knew about and agreed to place the child for adoption.

So far, she appears to have a very quiet and watchful personality.  She was very small when she entered the orphanage, but she has gained weight appropriately, and she has no other health problems.  She speaks a few words, walks and climbs, and is kind and helpful with the smaller children.

The orphanage is run directly (albeit at a very long distance!) by the agency here in Oregon, so they work very hard to use the best practices known for the children.  There are about 20 children and 5 caregivers.  The children are given good food to eat, have grass and play equipment outside, have their health monitored by a doctor, and receive any medications that could be necessary.   We are glad to know that she is being taken care of as well as possible during this long wait, which will soon be half of her young life!

(This is not actually a picture of our daughter at all; we are not allowed to post pictures.  But this shows how excited our son is to be a big brother!)

"So, how are things going with that adoption...?"

So many people ask this, so I finally decided to set up a blog so I can keep in touch and let everyone know how things are going and what news we have!  Since everyone hears different stories, I will write an overview of what has already happened and what is yet to come.

January, 2012 - We realize that our family is meant to include a child or children who were born in a different part of the world.  Now our task is to discover where our children might be living, and when is the right time to start the adoption process....

May, 2012 - We sign up with the Uganda program at Journeys of the Heart agency in Portland, and are matched with a little girl.

June & July - days are filled with arranging paperwork, education classes, and homestudy visits.
            Our first match falls through, and we are matched with a sibling pair.

August - the "waiting, waiting, waiting" begins, in the first case for our homestudy to be approved.  Our sibling match also falls through.  Our homestudy is approved by the agency for US approval purposes.

September & October - We have a new match, with pictures, video, and short descriptions of our little girl.  We thought our homestudy and dossier would be sent off by this point.  However, we wait and wait some more for different readers to confirm that it matches the standards set by Uganda.  Meanwhile, the agency in Oregon is very busy finishing their Hague re-certification, and the orphanage in Uganda is very busy seeking approval from the Ministry of Gender, so no one is getting much work done on individual children's or family's cases.

November - Our homestudy and I-600A goes to US Immigration, and our dossier goes to Uganda.

December - We will be officially fingerprinted for the US approval, and the orphanage director and lawyers in Kampala begin the arrangements to clear our daughter for adoption.


What happens next?  Almost certainly, in January we will receive permission from US Immigration to bring an orphan child into the US on a family visa.  What happens in Uganda is much less certain, and there is not much for us to do but wait and pray.

In the Ugandan system, a child is not fully cleared as adoptable until their prospective family's dossier is in place.  So although there have been unofficial meetings with the parents, and some documents assigning her care to the orphanage, all the work has waited until now.  Our daughter's parents, and any other important relatives or elders in the village, have to be brought into Kampala to "make their statement" to the lawyer, which apparently involves hours of interviews to make sure that everyone is being honest and that all options for the child to stay with her family or in her village have been exhausted.  The lawyer's office then writes up those statements, and the relatives have to be brought back to Kampala again to review and sign their statements.  (If something turns up in these interviews -- for instance, they find a birth parent who objects to the placement -- it could mean that the child is not available for adoption after all.  Therefore, we are not allowed to visit our child before the interviews are concluded and reviewed for problems; after that point we would be able to go to Kampala and spend time with her in the orphanage.)  Meanwhile, the social worker in charge of the child's original village, and the social worker in charge of the district where she is now living, have to write up reports stating that they believe it is in the best interest of the child to be placed in our family.    After that, an official birth certificate has to be produced, and various official signatures have to be procured.  Once the lawyer thinks that all the documents are in place, he petitions a judge for a guardianship hearing, which would usually be scheduled for around 2-4 weeks away.  Both adoptive parents have to be present for the hearing, and ideally show that they have some sort of relationship with the child.  The judge has a great deal of leeway in setting up further requirements, deciding post-placement reports, etc.  After guardianship has been granted, the parents can keep the child with them, but cannot leave the country.  Then they apply to the US Embassy for an American passport for the child, which can take another 4-12 weeks.

So when might all this happen?  Basically, on Uganda time.  It could go quickly, but it is much more likely to take longer than anyone imagines!

We are hoping and praying that the initial assessment will be concluded by February or March, at which point we could plan a trip to get to know our little girl.  Emerson and I would probably stay in Uganda until the rest of the paperwork was concluded, so we could begin to build our trust and family relationships.  Mark would come with us initially, and then return for the guardianship hearing -- unless by some miracle the hearing managed to be pretty close in time to our first trip!  Then I would live with the two children in Kampala until all the passports were complete and issued.

Hopefully we will meet our daughter this winter, and be home by late spring, but it could take much longer.