We have a old ranch home in the countryside just outside a medium-sized city in Oregon, with three gardens, an orchard, a chicken run, and a big field that gets flooded in the winter. But that's all starting to sound like a dream by now, because since June I have been living in a two-room apartment near Lake Victoria in Kampala.
I am here with:
My biological son, Emerson, who will turn five on Christmas Day. He is intense, focused, social, and creative. He was enrolled in a mixed-age kindergarten at our local Waldorf School back home, and now is in a kind-of Montessori Kindergarten here in Kampala, and he goes to the first grade class for reading. He has an engineer's thinking and planning mind, and is a lego aficionado. He also has various Sensory Processing and anxiety issues, so I have had the "opportunity" to start figuring out how to advocate for special needs and working through the pediatric therapy roads before becoming an adoptive parent. Going through this experience has made me aware of just how thankful I am, that I have been able to stay home with him, and that we have spent nearly every day of his life so far together.
My younger foster daughter, Buttercup. She is somewhere around three years old, although her birth certificate still only says she's two. She has a happy spirit, and looks for every excuse to be joyful! When I met her, she was extremely passive and withdrawn -- and a "good girl" by African standards -- but she is becoming lively, demanding, fussy, and full of "me do it!" She loves to follow the older children everywhere and try to do everything they do. Her early life was hard on her body, and she is very small and physically delayed for her age; she looks and moves more like and 18-month-old than a 3-year-old.
My older foster daughter, Hibiscus, who is coming up on seven. She is lively, intense, talkative, intelligent, has a loving heart, and is often totally out of control! Sometimes her lean, strong body is full of athletic grace, and other times she knocks over everything she touches and trips over her own feet -- always at full speed. She doesn't have nearly the physical problems that her sister sustained, but she will have a lot of emotional processing ahead of her, and will need a lot of work to gain back the executive processing and planning skills that have remained at toddler level.
At home, my husband is working hard as president of his family business -- which is a large one by family-business standards or a small one by international-business ones! He is forced to spend a lot of his time doing things like having fancy dinners in Cabo and going skiing in Vail, and also a lot of meetings with people who don't get a long, or needed a good no-nonsense mother like me a LONG time ago!
My husband is kept company by our two Shelties, two cats, and a bunch of chickens. The cats haven't been very happy with us every since we started collecting dogs and children, and have basically lived in the closets ever since. The chickens are farm animals, not babies, and yes, I have butchered and eaten them! The dogs, Monaghan and Doney, are real family members. They were my best companions when the stay-at-home-mom days got lonely or the kid-problems felt too overwhelming. They kind of remind me of my kid-family, because we got Monaghan as a puppy and he is full of confidence and love, whereas Doney was re-homed to us as an adult, and he has a lot harder time -- but he really knows how to appreciate finally having a family. I loved training and working with them, and we have competed in Rally Obedience, formal Obedience, and Agility competitions.
The rest of our family, near and far, is overwhelmingly supportive of us and our adoptions. Our families have a strong adventurous streak, which has helped us get to where we are now! My husband's parents live a few minutes away from our house, and are looking forward to meeting their new grandchildren. My parents live in Alaska and have come to spend time with us here in Uganda, which has been the biggest blessing of the past few, very difficult, months. Between us, we have two younger sisters and one younger brother, all of whom have done very exciting things -- including living in Guatemala, Cameroon, and New York City -- but so far haven't done anything boring like staying in the same job for multiple years, getting married, or having children. I also remember my biological father every day, who lived in Asia while I was a girl, and my girlhood travels to visit him have given me the confidence to up and move to a third-world country, and bring my little child along as well.
As for me, I am mostly a stay-at-home mother. I have a degree in music from Smith College, a masters in Early Childhood Education, and I have been a piano teacher for many years. That experience has both given me confidence coming into motherhood, and more importantly, the skills to really research what I need to know.
Christy, I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your recent Op-Ed piece in the Register-Guard this week. Your story was thoughtful, powerful and beautifully written. Now looking at this blog and website, I understand why. Your message is powered by a passion that only love can fuel. I wish you and Mark and your family all the best. Bill Moshofsky
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