Santa

My husband and I decided that we wouldn't make a big deal out of Santa, and apparently we have succeeded.  I am not initiating anything for Christmas, and none of the children seem to know or remember that Santa might potentially do anything tonight.  They are excited to see pictures of the jolly old elf in various decorations, and were really intrigued by a life-size Santa doll at the grocery store, but they haven't mentioned any expectations for him.  I doubt the girls have ever really properly encountered the American Santa mythology, but Emerson apparently doesn't remember or care either.  So we have gone to bed on Christmas Eve with not the slightest mention of stockings or cookies.

However, during bedtime prayers and blessings, Hibiscus and I did have a Santa discussion.  And, my friends, I will be blunt with you: I did not maintain the magic.  Or even try and create magic.

Our family decision was that we wouldn't pretend that Santa was a literal personage, and our tradition at home included "being" Santa as well as "getting" Santa, but we also haven't specifically disabused the Santa notion.  Children can enjoy the joyous fantasy if they want to, was our idea.  So when Emerson has heard about Santa at school and come home and asked me questions, I've basically done the "what do you think?" or "oh really," and he continues with his story.  I don't know if he has thought Santa was a literal person or not.  I also don't know what the African children discuss at school and what the local Santa traditions are, other than swallowing the American ones whole-sale, which seems quite likely given the pine trees and fake snow all over the place.

Tonight Hibiscus asked me point-blank if Santa was real.  I asked what she thought and she was confused, and asked me again.  And I said no, he wasn't.  He is a storybook character, like Jay Jay that we read about tonight, or Madeline.  This made sense to her and she nodded, but then her expression clouded as she remember other stories about meeting Santa.  I told her that some people like to dress up like Santa as a fun game, which confused her.  She said "if I meet Santa, I'm going to say 'hi, Santa.'" I told her that was okay, and it was fun to play the game and everyone pretends together that the person is Santa, and they say "hi Santa."

Then, to clarify, I said it was like she could dress up as Cinderella and people could call her "Cinderella" all day, and she got REALLY excited about that!  Apparently she really likes the idea of dress-up, and it had never occurred to her that she could be someone else all day.  So then we talked in great detail about the logistics of dressing up like Cinderella, and how she could be Cinderella like someone else could be Santa.


So, if your children play with mine, I'm awfully sorry if Hibiscus is pretty blunt about Santa's dress-up and story-book self, because she's pretty blunt about everything.  And if you love the beauty and generosity of the Santa myth, I'm sorry that Hibiscus never got to experience it.

First of all, I decided she's kind of too old anyways.  Learning about Santa when you are almost 7, and having your first proper Santa-Christmas when you're almost 8... that's the age when many faithful and well-convinced children are having doubts.  Secondly, she suddenly asked about Santa when I was in the part of the prayer about God protecting our house and keeping everything from getting in at night, because she's been really worried about things sneaking into our house at night.  This context made me feel like Santa might be kind of sinister in her mind, creeping into houses in the middle of the night.  Currently in her poor little mind, things getting into the house in the middle of the night is the height of evil; let's keep Santa locked up in a story book!

But most importantly, her life has already been confusion.  There is logistical confusion about basic concepts like "mother" and "home" and "love" and "obey."  There is fantastical confusion when adults tell her about monsters that will grab her for bad behavior.  There is spiritual confusion that many of the adults around her have taken things like monsters and witchcraft seriously in their own minds.  And there is religious confusion, about... well, everything religious, apparently!  In my mind, the last thing she needed was to wonder about a vague story like Santa Claus.  Let's keep it simple: Santa Claus is a character in a book or for dress-up.  I didn't even bring St Nicolas (the real one) into the picture, although in general I mean to.  He's not for today.


Meanwhile, I had thought that maybe I would wrap a gift or two for the children to wake up and see.  But it's been a long day, and I'm tired, and I won't.  I picked up some crafts and wrapping paper today, but I think I'll have them clean up the living room before I give them anything more than what we have.  And Santa can be busy sneaking into other people's houses, and just plain leave us alone!