Religious Education

Seven months ago, I would have been charmed by this conversation and how it illustrates how open people are around here, and how religious the country is.  (I also would have been proud of myself for figuring out the egg situation, but actually, I hadn't figured out eggs at that point.) Four months ago, I would have taken the conversation in stride, maybe with a little internal shake of my head and roll of my eyes.  Two months ago, I would have sighed and gotten on with my day.  Now I am seven-and-a-half months into living in Africa, and either my inner introvert or my inner mean-ness has asserted itself, and it absolutely drove me crazy.

Africa.  Where conversations with the grocery-store egg-boy go like this:

(We were in the grocery store.  I had picked up a tray of eggs, which then get moved into a plastic bag so I don't have to pay for the tray.  A young store employee came over and offered to pack the eggs for me, which is the way it worked, so I assented.  Being a friendly and open people, of course "we" dived right into conversation."

Clerk: What is your name?  (nothing like subtlety, right?)
Me: Christy.
Clerk: Oh, that is a Christian name.  Are you a Christian?  (what are the topics that are officially disallowed in American polite society?  how about opening a conversation with "are you a Christian?")
Me: Yes.
Clerk: Oh, are you born-again?
Me: No.  (Note: if I were born AGAIN, how would my parents have given me a Christian name?)
Clerk: Oh, you should be born again.  Let me tell you about my church --
Me: I already go to church, it is just a different church, not born-again.
Clerk (firmly): Going to church is not enough.  In order to be saved, you must take Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal savior.  You are not a Christian just by going to church.  (Because, if it's acceptable to ask if someone is Christian, it must be just as good to tell them that they are NOT actually Christian, right?)
Me (even more firmly): I'm fine, thank you.
Clerk: Let me tell you about---
Me: No.  (Eggs are finished, so I walk away.  Obviously, this is not clearly enough a close to the conversation, because he follows.)
Clerk: Are you on Facebook?  (Because we're best friends after this very fruitful conversation.)
Me: Yes.
Clerk: Here, will you write your name, so I can follow you?
Me: NO.

I manage to get far enough, fast enough, to make continuing the conversation illogical even by Ugandan standards.  And that is the story of the day of my Religious Education By Grocery Store Clerk.